The period directly following a break up can be very challenging and difficult for both parties. It is common to miss your ex boyfriend of girlfriend considerably and feel like your future is lost. Friends and family offer no hope or comfort to you at this time because you do not want to hear what they have to say. All that you have to know is that you are not alone in your predicament and that there is help out there if you want it.
There is a real similarity between a broken heart after break up and a death. Of course, we all deal with break ups differently, but scientific evidence proves that the same receptors in our brains are activated when we get dumped as when someone dies. Because of this, it is very important that we surround ourselves with people that are positive and who can understand how we feel. It is also a good idea to seek out the advice of experts and friends only tell you things that you do not want to hear and do little to help you in the road to recovery.
You would not hear a friend telling you to get over it or move on if a close family member died, would you? Break up is no different. Of course no one has died, but the feelings are very similar, the rawness in emotion over losing someone that you love is very real. It is a process that has to be dealt with in the right way in order for you to actually get better and enable you to cope.
Probably one of the first thoughts in your mind after a break up is disbelief and shock, especially if it came completely out of the blue. You will also be desperate to change things around and get your ex back again. This is a very common need in people post break up and also a very natural one. However, the desperation and pain that people experience after they have been dumped leads them to do things that they normally would not do if they were in a rational state of mind.
Do You Think That This Behaviour Is Attractive To Your Ex?
When you think of a drug addict, desperate for drugs, no sense of self respect and solely preoccupied with getting their next fix, you will begin to realise how your ex may be viewing you at this time. I am not saying that you are acting exactly like a drug addict, addicted to contact your ex, but try to assess your behaviour and ask yourself if it is normal. Put yourself in the shoes of your ex and think of how you would view them if they seemed like they did not accept the break up and couldn’t let go.
Is Your Ex Afraid Of Your Behaviour At This Time?
The worst thing that you can do directly after a break up is to plead on your ex to take you back or ask too many probing questions as to why they have ended it. Be strong, even though every instinct in your body is fighting against it. If you can come across as calm and collected and in control of your emotions, you will immediately go up in their estimation. Never try to orchestrate a meeting with them or get in touch with them for silly reasons, not matter how much you want to. Staying away at this point is the best thing that you can do for both of you.
What Are The Tricks That Work?
Try to look back to the time when you and your ex got together in the first place. How different as a person are you then than you are now? What has changed? You will probably find that you were much more confident then, more mysterious to your ex, interesting, exciting and they had a huge deal of respect for you. It is these qualities that are attractive to the opposite sex and the reason why your ex was attracted to you in the first place.
The first thing that you should change is your mindset after break up. After you have done some wallowing an given yourself some space, always remind yourself how special you are. Continue to tell yourself that you are important and that you deserve the best and to be loved and treated correctly. You know that you have attractive and unique qualities, otherwise your ex would not have been attracted to you in the first place. Do not lose your confidence at this time or your ex will only pity you and it will make it impossible to get them back. Instead, be positive, interesting, intriguing and confident. We are naturally attracted to this kind of character and like to be surrounded by them. It may be hard work when you are feeling awful about yourself and miss your ex, but keep in mind the end goal – to get your ex back!
What Else Can I Do?
There are so many tips and tricks that work, that I can not go into depth about them all in this article. Basically, the strategy centers around understanding the male and female psyche in general and how they react especially after break up. Most people are clueless about how the other sex thinks in this situation and this is what leads to the break up in the first place, confusion and heart ache. If you understand the essentials then you have a huge advantage over your exwhich will begin to make them view you in a completely different way and make them attracted to you again.
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